What leadership style are you using to motivate the people you lead at work or at home? Does your style of leadership generally leads to a conflict of some kind when you try to push for more production or better performance?
This is where some leaders lose it.
PASSIVE/AGRESSIVE/+
When they feel challenged or interpret this kind of “feedback” as negative, they default to digging their heels in or use them to attack. 😃
This is generally referred to as passive or aggressive behavior. Sometimes there is a combination…passive/aggressive response.
Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, controlling, stubbornness, sullen behavior, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible. ~Wikipedia
Aggressive behavior: a form of physical or verbal behavior leading to self-assertion; it is often angry and destructive and intended to be injurious, physically or emotionally, and aimed at domination of one person by another ~The Free Dictionary
Passive behavior: definition, not reacting visibly to something that might be expected to produce manifestations of an emotion or feeling. ~Dictionary dot com
The emotions that drive this kind of behaviors are normally unfiltered. What this means is that those primary emotions are NOT identified. Primary emotions examples are irritable, frustrated, upset, etc.
A BETTER WAY!
The third and better way to respond to “negative feedback” is being assertive. This is the choice of the high EQ leader because of its tactful and professional approach.
Assertive behavior: is being able to articulate and express your ideas, needs, and feelings in a way that is honest and direct. ~ Maldef dot Org
This type of leadership is one where the leader remains balanced and assertive by steering themselves away from the unfiltered emotional reactions such as the primary ones discussed above.
This approach enables them to neutralize difficult and toxic people without creating enemies. The last thing you want to do is create an environment where those you are trying to lead lose respect for you and become the passive/aggressive type. This is never a good mixture.
Production and performance will decrease and ultimately hurt the bottom-line whatever that is for you.
IT LOOKS LIKE THIS
As an assertive leader functioning with a high EQ, you will balance good manners, empathy, and kindness while establishing boundaries with those you lead. You’ll get more “bang for your buck” this way.
NATURE OR NURTURE
You might be getting the feeling that this type of leadership is not one that you are born with neither are the other two. However, this one–ASSERTIVE LEADERSHIP–is the most difficult. It does require intentionality, commitment, and patience.
GOOD NEWS
The good news is that it can be cultivated. Normally, it is better done with outside help where you’ll get hands-on help to give you the feedback you’ll need. This is best done with a coach who understands these concepts.
Because this is not easily done, having a coach who understands this paradigm, is essential to your success. That’s where I come in.
My focus is on helping you create and/or optimize your online presence as well as renew your mindset. If you need coaching to help you with this, let’s set up a 20-30 minute Rapid Discovery Call to see if what I do would work for you. Email me at kingsley@kingsleygrant.com.
If you are a business owner or a CEO and would like to change your corporate culture to one that reflects a higher performing and more productive environment, email me at kingsley@kingsleygrant.com. The way I do that is by teaching on Emotional Intelligence, Effective Communication, and Intentional Listening.
