What’s your reaction to someone who comes off as a “know it all?” What about someone who tries to be what they’re not? 
 
I don’t know about you but I have little patience for that kind of behavior. As a matter of fact, it turns me off.
 
Here’s my confession: I’ve been that person. In my effort to fit in with those who were the “Big Players” I would copy what they did and fake my way through.
 
Have you ever done that? Am I the only one? I doubt it.
 
I admire people who are willing to lay it all “out there.” They take you along with them on their journey of learning. They share with you their victories, defeats, challenges, and what they are learning in and through the process.
 
It takes courage to do so. One has to have a high level of self-esteem.  They also take the perspective of wanting to be authentic. For the most part, they are beyond trying to impress the masses. Maybe that was true earlier on in life. But no more.
 
Others have seen the advantage of doing so. People will give them feedback thanking them for sharing their lives in such an open way. it helps them with their own stuff.
 
Not only is it attractive in being willing to learn and share your discoveries with others, but having a Learner mindset also known as a Curious mindset, gives you an additional advantage.
 
Let me explain. 
 
LEARNER MINDSET
 
A learner mindset is one that Marilee Adams eloquently describes in her book “Change Your Questions, Change Your Mind.” She contrasts the Learner Mindset to that of a Judger Mindset.
 
She shares that we all are guilty of having a Judger mindset and we need to be intentional to change it to that of a Learner mindset.
 
JUDGER MINDSET
 
A Judger mindset focuses on blame such as “whose fault Is it?” Or “what were you thinking?” These are just two of the many ways she shares what aJudger mindset immediately leans towards.
 
On the other hand, a Learner mindset is one that focuses on the questions: “what is it they meaning others, want?” Or “what is it I want?” Or “what am I responsible for?”
 
The latter is looking for ways to learn rather than to judge or to blame.
 
Imagine creating a culture in your home, at work or at play where everyone works towards developing a Learner mindset? Wouldn’t that be transformational?
 
Is transformation possible?
 
I believe it is. I’ve seen it happen with families,  teams that I’ve led and in my own life. It is not a one-time thing. It will require ongoing intentional effort to make it happen.
 
This hasn’t always been my modus operandi. As stated before, we are more inclined to be Judgers. I’ve had to retrain and continue to retrain my mindset.
 
It’s also something I’m more cognizant of as a Licensed Psychotherapist. It’s hard to help people when I’m in aJudger mindset.
 
How then does one develop a Learner mindset?
 
There’s not a quick fix. But making a decision to shift away from a non-productive, conflict-oriented Judger mindset is the place to start. 
 
Once you’ve made that decision, the work towards your goal begins.
 
With this mindset you become more “other-centered,” which leads to you wanting to be more open; more vulnerable.
 
This shift could be your passport to a transformed life, home, and workplace.
 
If this is something you desire and want to learn more about, connect with me so we could make this happen.
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