LEARN TO SAY NO. IT IS REWARDING
Do you find it difficult saying no?
I struggle at times with saying no. I’m a whole better now than before. I was really bad at this.
I used to feel very guilty when I said no especially when it was someone who I had a relationship with.
Here’s the thing: many times I would say yes and then, later on, get upset with myself for adding one more thing to my “plate” when there were a number of unfinished things already there.
Does that ever happen to you?
Do you also feel guilty when you say no?
After so many times of regretting saying yes but still continued to do so, I had to make a decision to stop this madness. I simply could not continue.
But if you are like me, you know it’s easier said than done.
How do I say no to people who wanted MY HELP?
That’s the problem—the words “MY HELP.”
REASONS TO SAY YES
It made me feel wanted, valuable, important, needed, and special. There were other feelings as well. But you get the idea.
That was the driving force behind why I had a hard time saying no. Who would not want to have those feelings? And if that was one way to get them, then the price was worth paying.
PRICE TO PAY
But was that really so? Was the price worth paying? Really Kingsley?
… regretting that you did?
… being upset at yourself?
… adding more stress to your life?
… not getting what you needed to get done?
Is that the price you’re talking about?
Hmmm!
On second thoughts, NO! It’s not worth paying. It’s not something I could afford to pay any longer. Something had to give. I decided. Learn to say NO!
Ouch!
“Is there some other way?” I protested.
“No! There is no other way” was the reply.
I surrendered. I gave in. I’m learning.
BENEFITS TO SAYING NO
It’s not been easy but what I’ve noticed, I no longer feel as guilty as when I first started to learn to say No. Not only that, it’s beginning to feel good. My greatest fears haven’t happened.
As a matter of fact, I’m valuing myself a whole lot more. I’ve made myself important without having to say yes all the time.
Don’t get me wrong…it’s not that I no longer say yes, but I’ve become more selective. I’m deciding when, who, where, and how.
As a leader, you’ve gotta help people learn that NO is an answer and sometimes it’s the best answer.
It may be the answer that gives that person a chance to figure things out on their own and not become overly dependent on you. You may be doing them a favor even though they may not see it as such.
If you are having a hard time saying no, think of what I just mentioned: you could very well be creating a codependent relationship and feeding your own needs, at another expense.
NEED SOME HELP?
If this is an area that you need help in, let me know. There are other tools and strategies that I use to help my clients and it’s also a part of some of the presentations that I give to groups. If you know of a group that could use my service, please let me know. You can see some short videos of me speaking HERE.
Remember, I’m here to help you Optimize for success! So reach out today!
If you are interested in being coached in this area or have me consult with or present to a group that you are a part of or know a group that could benefit from this kind of teaching, reach out to me and let me know.
In the meantime, leave a comment below to share your thoughts with us.
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