HER BODY LANGUAGE WAS AMBIGUOUS
I saw her several feet away as she approached my workout station. We made eye contact and I was waiting for her to walk right by the elliptical machine on which I was working out on.
As she got closer a smile began to crease the edges of my lips. I felt it emerging.
She was now a step or two from the machine which she had to pass by to get to wherever she was going. She couldn’t avoid walking by because it was the last machine at the end of the row that formed an aisle for people to get through.
The moment arrived where I smiled and was about to say “hi.”
I know she wouldn’t have heard me say “Hi” because both of her ears had an earbud growing out of them. 😃 I would need to get her full attention …
… then the unexpected happened.
BODY LANGUAGE MALFUNCTION
She walked by without even breaking a stride, keeping her gaze on her path, and walked right by.
I was caught off guard. I didn’t expect that.
I quickly pulled my smile back inside, as a turtle would do after sticking its head out from under its shell only to see something that looks threatening.
Immediately my thoughts went into overdrive.
“She pretended she didn’t see you!”
“She is so rude!”
“How could she after making eye contact, recognized me, and then so casually walked by?”
I took a deep breath to calm my thoughts and refocus on my workout.
Oh, by the way, she and I had a brief conversation the day prior. I jokingly said to her that she’s showing up late to the gym these last few days. She assured me she wasn’t and we laughed and continued our workout.
So, it’s not that I was a stranger to her.
BODY LANGUAGE REALITY CHECK
Okay, HERE’S THE ISSUE: Did she really see me? Did we really make eye contact? Was she purposely avoiding saying “hi” to me and chose to walk by? Was she trying to avoid another friendly reprimand? Was she offended by what I said to her the day before?”
All these thoughts were crashing on the shore of my mind and the splashes were getting louder and louder.
How quickly this whole event deteriorated.
This scenario I just described all happened in my head. The event occurred but I made up the story and gave it meaning. It was only my POV (point of view). That was how I saw it and followed the path to my conclusions.
How often does this happen in our daily lives? I would dare say, more times than we would admit.
WHAT WENT WRONG?
I misread what I saw—her body language. What I thought it was telling me, apparently wasn’t.
I could easily have labeled her and treated her as enemy number one from this point on. Or I could have confronted her the next time I saw her and tell her what I thought about her behavior.
And then, we no longer would say “hi” or even acknowledge each other …
… all because of my misinterpretation, labeling, and judging of what I thought.
MORAL OF THE STORY
The moral of this story is that we need to be “quick to hear/see, slow to speak/judge and slow to anger/becoming upset” This formula leads to a better outcome because we will be able to give ourselves time to have another explanation of what just happened.
Don’t trust your first thought on matters like these. You most likely will be wrong. And even if all the evidence stares you in the face as being right, take the time to verify … YOU COULD BE WRONG!
To practice, this form of self-control doesn’t happen overnight. It comes with a willingness to check ourselves, give others the benefit of the doubt, and to not be so quick to judge what we don’t know.
I’ll leave you with this: THE MORE YOU KNOW, THE LESS YOU JUDGE!”
If you are interested in being coached in this area or have me consult with or present to a group that you are a part of or know a group that could benefit from this kind of teaching, reach out to me and let me know.
In the meantime, leave a comment below to share your thoughts with us.
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